Dear Running Photo Guy
I really appreciate the fact that you are out in the heat (or cold depending on where in the world you are), dodging runners – to take our pictures so that we can have something graphic to remember our races by – but please, PLEASE I’m begging you – next time you take my picture, take the following into consideration:
- I must be in the air, mid-stride NOT as my foot is striking the ground sending ripples through my usually toned thighs, making them look like a pair of Shar Pei puppy’s (or like I have a flesh eating disease).
- Please don’t take my picture if I’m doing one of the following:
- Throwing up
- Peeing on the side of the road
- Crying out of frustration
- Attending to the chafe on my inner thigh
- Looking more tired (read: haggard) than the rest of the bunch
- If I am looking at you and smiling it means ‘take my picture now!’ not when I look away or blink resulting in me being tagged as the “slightly retarded girl who took part in the race”.
- Running photo guy, if the wind is blowing and I am looking like Cameron Diaz from “There’s something about Mary” – please don’t take my picture.
- If I look like I’m having a bit of a battle making my legs move, don’t stop me and ask me to smile, because I won’t and although it might look like I’m too tired to move, I won’t have any trouble kneeing you where it hurts.
So in conclusion Running Photo guy, I won’t hold it against you if there are no pictures of me for that entire race, just don’t take any horrid ones, which still appear online for anyone to browse through, please!