‘Helpful’ advice…

Cands / One Comment / October 2nd, 2009 / Subscribe via RSS

I’m a little bundle of nerves waiting in anticipation for tomorrow when I take part in my first triathlon – I really can’t believe I’m so nervous for the 800 metre swim, I mean I run 89km for heavens sake!!!

Anyway I’ve been receiving very ‘helpful’ tips from family and friends and I’d like to share some of them with you – my mom suggested I wear a brightly coloured shower cap so that people can see when and where I go under as I drown, this of course was after her suggestion of arm bands hidden in my wetsuit because of course they can’t see those…

My friend Vanessa offered to erect a stepladder on the shore of the dam to watch me through her binocs with a whistle at the ready to alert the safety personnel when my tired, limp body sinks below the surface…

Pollyotters and life-jackets were other options of course both redundant because the rules say “No flotation devices”. I am in the process of trying to persuade my partner to hire/borrow/steal a rowing-boat so that he can follow me and make sure my worries of impending death by drowning do not come true…

The race only starts at 15:00 tomorrow afternoon so I’d appreciate a little prayer around that time as I make my way into the water with everyone else.